Put On Your Grown-up Pants

Don’t be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you can figure out what God’s will is—what is good and pleasing and mature. - Romans 12:2 (CEB)

In our families it is easier to be silent in the face of wrongdoing because making waves in the status quo is heavily penalized. Among our friends, a bit of juicy gossip at the expense of someone else’s dignity is just part of hanging out. In our casual acquaintances, it is easier to let a racist statement slide than it is to confront the racism at that moment.

Conforming to sin, or at least being silent when it happens, is often socially expected of us. What bigger challenge is there for Christians? God’s transformation often requires us to force others to examine their behavior too. Using our judgment does not have to make us feel judgmental in the negative sense.

How do we reject sin for ourselves and advocate for others in a mature way?

Discourage triangulation and encourage direct communication. “Don’t exclude Aunt Emma because her potato salad smells like a gym locker, ask her to bring veggies and dip.”

Talk about how the sin makes you feel. “When we gossip I feel like I’m being the kind of friend I wouldn’t want to have.”

Some things just aren’t acceptable, and causing friction when it happens is the only right thing to do.

Following Christ means being transformed into someone who tries to what is God’s will, even if it means you have to be uncomfortable.


Savior of sinners, give me the maturity to upset those I love to follow your will with love. Amen.